When Everything Was Like a Loaded Gun- A Fullmetal Alchemist Fic
by pjsoles
Summary: A young, teenage Riza Hawkeye's point of view of Roy Mustang when he becomes her father's apprentice. From what I remember, she was quite a bit younger than him, so nothing dirty here. Just my interpretation of how I imagine her to have felt about him at that point in her life. Based off the Brotherhood version. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Takes place whenever Roy goes to Riza's father as an apprentice. It's Riza's point of view of the intriguing young man that comes to spend a month with them.**

 **I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist and I do not own the song the title is from, Puddle of Mudd's "Psycho".**

 ******Note: It has been a very long time since I've watched and read the series, I apologize if I anything seems out of place or out of character. (I'll explain Riza's hair in the fic, because the I understand the longness of her hair might seem incorrect at first). I just want to write a quick fic about the way a young Riza views a young Mustang. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.**

 **If not, please just ignore this fic and forget it exists. Have a good day reader!******

Early morning. A gentle fog lays over the landscape. A young, teenage Riza lay in her bed, awake and a drowsy from her not so great sleep. She hardley ever slept well. Her long blonde hair flowed across her pillow. Her long, flowy tresses added a slight air of femininity to her. She was a tomboy in every sense of the word. She would rather hunt foxes and wear overalls than wear a dress or go to dances and wear make up.

She was a bit of a loner. Most of the girls her age worried about boys while she was worried about her aim when shooting her dad's old gun from his childhood. She was homeschooled by her father. That only added to her lonlieness. She tried to keep herself occupied, but deep in the back of her mind, she wanted no more than to have someone to talk to.

Her father was good to her, but he was a very closed off man. She wasen't close to him emotionally. She told herself it never bothered her, but many would agree that in the longterm it would probably effect her ability to form a relationship with a man. She disagreed.  
It crossed her mind, but she still felt her independence from him made her a stronger and more emotionally independent woman.

The only real time she spent with him was when he taught her classes. They both kept themselves closed off emotionally from each other with their business like demeanor.

She lay in bed for while, aching from how dismal and lonely the room felt. She had this feeling everytime she woke up. A pain in her gut.  
Not from sickness, but from a nervous feeling as she lay alone all night in that quiet house.

"The quiet helps me sleep better" she told herself.

She got herself up from her bed, begrudgingly, and peeked out into the kitchen. She would wait until her father went upstairs to his study before she went out to eat with him.

This was an unspoken rule of the household. While they never discussed it, they both felt awkward eating around eachother. There was absolutely nothing to talk about. They would both wait until the kitchen was empty.

It was. She lit the gas burner and grabbed a pan. She would have her usual- an egg, toast, jam, and coffee. It was the same everyday. Her father did not care to experiment much with food.

After breakfast, Riza made sure to put her hair up tightly in a bun. She would never ever let anyone see her with her hair down.  
It made her feel vunerable. Vunerable and...feminine. To have anyone see her as a woman brought great discomfort. Part of it felt like an invitation to spread her legs. The rational side of her knew this was silly, many women wore their hair down. But nonetheless, she still never cut it short. When she was alone, she would let it down. She would run her hands through it and imagine herself in a different, less sheltered life. A life in which she felt comfortable wearing her hair down.

A knock on the door. Riza felt a pang of nervousness pound in the pit of her stomach. She hated socializing with anyone she never met. No doubt, on the other side of that door was a stranger.

She waited, hoping her father would come trotting down to greet the stranger. Amazingly enough, he did.

Riza ran to her room and peeked out from the corner.

At the door stood a young man, just a little older than her. He looked like maybe he could have been from Xing. She wasen't sure...his heritage looked unclear.  
He had the blackest eyes and hair she had ever seen. His skin was luminous. His voice was deep and almost soothing with the polite manner he was projecting.

She felt herself blush as he smiled at her father. He seemed totally in awe of her dad.

"Who _is_ this guy!?" She whispered to herself.

It appeared that this young man was planning to meet her father. Since she rarely conversed with her dad, how was she to prepare for this young man to show up on her doorstop.

"Who am I _kidding?"_ she told herself. "This is a guy like any other stranger, I wouldn't have to act any different around him than I would anyone else". She shut her door and lay on her bed listening to their conversation. No way was she going out there.

"You will be staying in this room next to the kitchen" Her father said.

"What!?" Riza whispered alarmingly to herself. She shot her head up and heard them walk into the spare room right next to hers.

Her pulse started to go wild. She knew her dad wouldn't call her out to meet this guy, he never did with anyone. But if he was staying...even overnight, she was going to probably run into him one way or another.

She looked at herself in the mirror while she wrapped herself tightley in a blanket. She started playing scenarios of how awkward she would appear in front of him.

She was pretty sure she might start having a panic attack. She took a deep breath, and immediatley started to think the worse so that whatever down fall might happen, she'd be prepared.

"It's always good to not expect much out of life. Especially when you're a hermit." Riza thought to herself.

 ******That's all I have energy for right now. I'm working on another fan fic right now for Fruits Basket, but I will update this one regularly. Thanks for reading!*******


	2. Chapter 2

***I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Just this story.***

Riza sat at the edge of her bed. She felt trapped. She hoped she would hear her father and the young man go outside, somwhere else.  
She wanted to go run out to the woods and run. Then she remembered she would have to come back and possibly face them. She knew she was avoiding the inevitable.

She could pretend she was sick and stay in bed all day...she hated lying in bed when there was almost no chance of falling asleep. She wouldn't even have any decent books to read, all her father had lying around where books about alchemy. Things she had little interest in or any capability of understanding fully.

Then she heard her fathers voice.

"I want to show you the basics of alchemy first, then we can progress -"

He continued to babble on about the study of alchemy and other matters she could care less about.

Now she understood. This young man was going to be her father's apprentice. "How strange" she thought to herself.  
Her father was not the type to share his studies one on one with others, much less a man so young. He was probably barely five years older than herself.

His age seemed very unclear to her. His face appeared to be very young. No more than 17. But his voice was that of a 40 year old. His mannerisms seemed to be that of a 40 year old as well.

"He must be brilliant." She pondered.

She knew they where upstairs in her fathers study by this point. She walked out of her room and shot out the front door, hoping they wouldn't see her through the window.

Of course they wouldn't, get two alchemists in a room and they have a one track mind on alchemy.

She grabbed her bow and her rackety old rifle and ventured out to the woods.

She was going to live like a wild animal today. She knew her father would have zero anxiety about her being gone all day without an explanation. She knew that he knew that she never associated with hardley anyone.

What was she going to do, get raped? She would never hesitate to pull the trigger on anyone who tried to lay a finger on her.

She was an armed, brave, shy, timid, and lonely girl.

It was near dusk. She got 1 fox and 5 rabbits. She was getting pretty sick of hunting. She trudged home, knowing she have to face them. Maybe she would get lucky and they would be elsewhere practicing their alchemy junk, she thought to herself.

As she neared the driveway, she took a deep breath. The light was on inside.

No such luck.

She lay her killings off to the side and realized she could kill more time by skinning them.

She got her blade and began.

She took her time. An hour passed.

She believed it was probably close to 9:00. Her father opened the door and found her.

"Just checking" he said, and closed the door.

She was relieved, and a little offended that her father had not introduced her to their guest.

"I guess he's ashamed of me." She thought emotionlessly to herself.

She figured she could stay outside until they went to bed. She did. She felt cunning to have kept herself aloof so long. Maybe he would leave tommorow. As the lights went off inside, she tiptoed in. No bath tonight. It would make too much noise. She felt gross, but she figured she would try to take one tommorow. Maybe she could wash off in the spring if she had too.

She felt pathetic.

The next morning, she peeked out into the kitchen. No sign of movement. They must have went out. She would usually hear some kind of clattering around upstairs when her father was home. She walked slowly out to the kitchen. Slowly, she felt more comfortable.  
She was sure she was alone.

She started up the gas stove, and cracked an egg into the pan, started the toast, and the coffee.

She heard a small gasp from behind her.

She turned abruptly. The young man stood before her. He had on a tank that exposed his lean muscles. She was speechless. She found herself looking at his arms longer than what was socially acceptable, or so she thought. She awkwardly drew face eyes away from his body, looked at his face and nodded her head. She couldn't get a "Hello" out. The young man looked puzzled.

"Hi." He smiled. "I...uh...I hope you don't think I'm an intruder. I'm here as an apprentice with Master Hawkeye. My name is Roy. Roy Mustang." He held his hand out for her to shake. He was starting to wonder to himself if she herself was an intruder. Master Hawkeye never mentioned himself to be living with a young girl, or having any children.

"So polite" she thought to herself as she shyly shook his hand.

She figured her face was turning red by this point. She felt embarrassed. How would this guy feel if he knew what lengths she went to to avoid him yesterday.

She turned quickley back to her food and continued to fry her egg. Looking away from him she choked "I...I'm his daughter. Riza.  
He probably never mentioned me."

Roy felt rude admitting that it was true. Her father never once mentioned her.

"Well Riza, it's great to meet you. It's amazing just being here and learning from your father." He gleamed.

She could tell his admiration was genuine.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you. Please, let me help you with the breakfast."

"No...no that's okay. My father cooks for himself. But...I'll make you some if you like, please sit...I'm almost done." Riza said softley.

He thanked her as she handed him a simple breakfast of toast, jam, eggs, and coffee.

"Sorry, our breakfast is kinda boring."

"Simple breakfasts are the best" Roy replied.

They sat at the table together. Riza knew it would be rude to go eat by herself in her room. She felt intrigued by him though.  
She prayed her father would come walking down the stairs so the conversation wouldn't be focused directly on her. To her luck, he did.

"Roy, we'll start with a review of what we went over yesterday. Don't expect anything anything too flashy today, you still haven't learned all the fundamentals yet."

He completley ignored the fact that Riza was there. She didn't care. The less attention to herself, the better.

"Oh, yes sir." Roy seemed a little uncomfortable by the lack of attention he was giving his daughter. She kept looking at her father and back and Riza.

"What is going on!? Why did he never tell me he had a daughter!?" He thought to himself.

He scarfed his breakfast, did his dishes quickely, thanked Riza, and ran up the stairs with her father.

"Well...at least we've exchanged hellos." She thought to herself. She felt quite a bit more comfortable than she did yesterday.  
From the way he acted, she could tell he was a kind guy. He didn't seem to judge. He was too eager to please her father.

She finished her breakfast and went out to practice shooting her bow. She felt she deserved to relax a little.

She thought about how she couldn't see the pupils of his eyes. How could such dark black eyes look so bright at the same time? They sparkled. "Roy..." she said under her breath. In a shock of meeting him, couldn't recall his last name.

She saw Roy and her father exit the front porch. They didn't see her. She wasen't sure where they were going.

As they walked down the street, two women walked on the opposite street stopped and stared. Mouths open, they where gawking at Roy. They looked to be about twice his age.

They looked like they where going to swoon as they grabbed eachothers shoulders. They had euphoric expressions on their faces.

"Did you see him!? I've never seen such a _beautiful_ face!" One of the woman exclaimed.

Roy didn't pay any attention to them. He was too busy making excited conversation with her father.

Riza looked at her reflection in the glass window near her. She felt so ugly in her overalls. She unclasped her hair and let it fall down her shoulders. She cringed and threw it back up in a tight knot, picked up her bow, and started to aim, trying to keep her focus.

The women laughed like schoolgirls all the way down the street, exchanging ideas of what they would wanted Roy to do to them.

For once, Riza didn't even hit the target. The bow flew off into the woods and hit the ground.

 ***This fic isn't proving to be very popular. No reviews and not many reads. I may not finish it. My Fruits Basket one isn't too popular either but I'm "feeling" it more. I'm just not "feeling" this one as much. Even if this fic stays mostly unread but I get more of a feeling, I might finish it. But it's not looking like it. Anways...that's all I can think of. Have a good day!***


	3. Chapter 3

***I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist***

Chapter 3

Two hours after Roy and Riza's father left, Riza was back in gear with her aim. She often lost track of time when she was shooting. It was indeed her main, and maybe only outlet.

"Nice shot" said a voice behind her.

"Uh! Roy...I didn't realize...how long have you been standing behind me?" she said nervousley.

"Long enough to see that your no rookie with shooting a bow." He said with his eyebrows raised to the top of his forhead.

"I didn't want to disturb you. Sorry. You're father has a doctor's appointment. He told me to come back here and study until he comes home." He said as he collected himself.

"No it's fine..." She was getting nervous that there was not going to be much to talk about. She was also wondering what her dad had a doctor's appointment for. She would be the last to know if anything was wrong.

"Wish I could shoot like that." He said. "I've never even fired a gun before."

"I would...teach you somtime. If you like. Or...do you want to try right now?" She said awkwardly.

"Sure!" He practically pranced over by her.

Riza almost felt back in her comfort zone. This, she could handle. Shooting bows and rifles was just about the only thing she felt confident about. This was the first time in her life she had anyone to teach. She had only taught herself. Although always modest,  
she knew underneath she had one hell of an aim.

His aim however, she came to discover, was going to take alot of work.

"I think I'd better stick to alchemy" he grinned embarrassly after they watched his arrow hit the ground.

"It takes alot of practice. Hours and hours. Days...months." She said with her business like demeanor. "Let's try again."

She spent time correcting his stance, trying to avoid touching him. She felt a little awkward with that part. It would have been easier if she could stand behind him and guide his arms with her own. She blushed at the thought of it.

He got a little better after more than a few tries. Certainly no bullseye shooter.

"If I need a bodygaurd, I know who to ask." He said with a slight laugh, almost seeming serious.

She chuckled. A little girl like her protecting a guy like him seemed silly, she thought to herself.

"You ever think of joining the military with skills like these? They would have you in a heartbeat." He asked.

"I've never really thought about anything like that...my father hates the military." That was one thing Riza did discuss with her father in the past. His hatred for the dogs of the military.

This brought on new discussion as they practiced shooting. She learned that Roy was very passionate about politics. She learned that he wanted to change the chaotic state of Amestris. She didn't really understand some of the terminology he was using, after all,  
he was an alchemist; prone to a brilliant vocabulary.

She never really sided with her father when it came to the military. She never really cared before. But hearing Roy sparked a new interest inside of her.

"Does my father know how you feel about all this?" She asked.

"No...I better wait until after he teaches me his work to tell him. Please don't tell him." He said sucking in his lips, looking worried.

"Never. I'm sure you've noticed that talking isen't exactly our pasttime." Riza replied while aiming her bow.

This made Roy feel a little awkward. He tried to stay out of people's personal matters. But he did feel a concern for the girl underneath.

Roy didn't want to make her upset. He changed the subject. "So with a shot like that, do you hunt?"

Riza walked over to the outhouse in their backyard, threw the doors open, Roy peeked inside.

Hundreds of animal skins where hung before him.

"I'll take that as a yes." His slanted black eyes where wider than she thought was possible.

A few more hours passed. Riza was starting to feel more and more comfortable around Roy. They stayed outside and talked until her father came home.

"So, are you making advances towards my daughter?" He asked with his eyes narrowed on Roy.

"Wha!?-No..no sir!" Roy's porcelain face turned beet red. As did Riza's.

"Uh huh. Riza, we will be having another guest tonight for dinner. Make food for four." Her father walked past them into the house.

Roy had his head down and ran after him into the kitchen. He looked like he wanted to vomit.

"I can't believe you dad." Riza muttered miserably to herself. She didn't ask Roy how old he was, but she knew he was too old to be trying anything like that with her. How was she going to survive supper? She already felt so embarrassed. And who was the fourth person coming? Her social anxiety was certainly taking a punch lately.

It felt awkward enough just eating with her dad, which she hardly ever did. She didn't even have anything interesting around to cook. All they ever had for supper was poached eggs and whatever she got during her hunt.

She sighed. She wished the night was over.

Roy spent the remaining hours before supper studying with her dad. Riza worried he would be in trouble for not studying while her dad was away. He had spent the whole time talking to her.

She smiled. He as a gentleman. She didn't feel her usual self that morning. She was with someone she really felt like she could talk to. "Maybe I'm just too holed up in this house." She thought to herself. "Maybe there are other people out there like him. Other people I can talk to."

Her smile faded when she looked in the pantry. They would have rabbit stew, poached eggs, and milk. Roy may have been impressed with her aim, but he would likely not be impressed with her supper. She wished her father would let her go to the market to get somthing different, but she didn't dare ask. He was wasen't a frivilous spender. She understood. Money was tight these days.

"It will just have to do" she sighed.

After she finished preparing the meal, there was a knock on the door.

She took a deep breath. "I can do this. Just talk to them like you did Roy" She told herself.

She opened the door. There stood a very tall, very brusk looking woman. She was wearing dark ruby-red lipstick, a crazy looking cat with fur, and an overly revealing dress. Her breasts looked like they where going to fly out with any wrong turn. She had a cigar in her mouth and pronounced eyebags.

"I bet Roy's having fun with you around here." She said with her gravely voice.

"Uh...come in please" Riza said shakily. All the bravery she had built up in herself diminished.

Roy must have heard her. He came trotting down the stairs. "Please, PLEASE don't frighten her" Roy said exasperated.

"This is Master Hawkeye's daughter, Riza" He smiled. "Riza, this is wonderful lady likes to be called Madame Christmas."

"Huh? Didn't know he procreated! Thought he lived alone in this old shack." She replied.

"Mom!" Roy looked like he was going to explode of embarrassment.

"DON'T CALL ME MOM. I TOLD YOU TO _NEVER_ CALL ME THAT!" Madame Christmas barked.

Riza sneaked off to the other room as the two bantered.

"Mom? That's his mother?" Riza thought to herself. "How could such a mild mattered gentleman like him be raised by someone like her!?"

She looked over at the table she had set. She peeked out at the woman with brutal honesty and dark lipstick.

She was so not ready for this.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 ****I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Sorry, this is going to be a bit of a short chapter since I'm short on time.****

Slurrrrp! *Beelllchhh*

Madame Christmas downed her meal and milk in a matter of seconds.

"Damn, that wasen't bad at all. S'me good rabbit." She smiled as she leaned back and took a drag from her cigeratte.

Riza felt relief that her cooking wasen't going to take a beating by this woman.

"Want a smoke Bert?" she asked Riza's father.

"Please" he answered.

He took a cigarette from her. Riza had seem him smoke from time to time. She didn't care for it, but it never felt like it was her business to intervene.

"Roy?" Madame Christmas asked casually.

"No thank you. Those will kill you, you know." Roy said immediately.

"You really think your teacher wants to hear about his own demise from you? Come on, have a smoke." Christmas growled.

She lit one and handed it to him. Roy sighed and took a drag. He inhaled it with little problem. Riza was surprised to see that he was used to it. It defintely was not his first.

It didn't last long. He put it out after only two puffs and sighed, looking irritated. Riza could tell the smoke around him was agitating him.

Christmas looked to Riza. Riza felt herself stiffen and freeze up.

"What's this your fathers got you wearin? Boys overalls?" Christmas looked her up and down.

"Uh. Yes. I suppose" Riza looked to the floor with her hands in her lap.

"Mom...don't" Roy said with a wince.

"WHAT" his stepmother barked.

"Sorry. Madame Christmas. My stepmom here has a bit of thing for dress. Fashion is important to her. Don't mind her. Clothes aren't important. Especially in this day and age. She still thinks women should dress in corsets and all that garbage." Roy said apologetically.

"Shut up Roy. Bert you need to get this girl some clothes that make her look good for the boys. She ain't gonna get one wearin this!"

Riza turned red and looked to the wall.

Roy put his face in his hands. "Don't listen to her Riza" he mumbled.

"She's a little young for you Roy. Huhuhuh that won't stop you though will it?" Christmas said with her gravely voice.

Roy's translucent face turned red. He looked away with a loss for words. He looked like he wanted to throw up again.

Riza felt a little giddy underneath at the comment, but massively embarrassed the same time.

"Madame, I believe you are going to kill these kids." Riza's father finally said. He remained quiet for most of the meal.

"Nah, it's good for em. So Bert, I think you're probably the best of the best for teaching Roy here the ways of Alchemy and all that junk. He's going to rule the world you know. Make sure you whip him good. Work his ass off. No slackin." She took another drag.

"He's doing well. He has alot to learn." Riza's father took a drag again.

"I should be going now. Food was good girl" She winked at Riza. "I got some new cosmetics for my girls tonight. The men are gonna love it."

"Your girls...?" Riza said under her breath.

"Yeah, my employees. I run a bar and my girls entertain men." Christmas smiled.

Roy had a nervous smile on his face. Clearly uncomfortable.

"My girls just love Roy! And he just loves em right back don't ya boy?"

Roy had already got up and went to the bathroom. His patience had seemed to reach it's end.

Riza started to wonder if that was true. She wasen't quite sure why, but the thought of him "loving" whoever these girls where really bothered her.

"Here, take this." Christmas handed Riza a knee length black skirt just about her size and a light pink lipstick.

"I don't have a top to go with this, since I didn't know a girl like you would be here tonight. I just happened to have this skirt on me. One of my girls left it from her day job the other night after she changed. She won't mind.  
She hates conservative wear. And I have an extra lipstick to spare. Have a ball with it." the Madame got up and head to the door before Riza could refuse the gift.

"Uh...thank you Ma'am" Riza said with an uncomfortable smile.

"Don't mention it. Come on Roy! Let's go! Bert's getting tired of you. Let's give him a break tonight. You can come back tommorow evening!"

Roy walked down the stairs with little indifference. He thanked Riza's father and turned to Riza.

"Thanks for the meal. It was delicious. I'll see you both tommorow night." He walked over to Madame Christmas.

"Give her a kiss. On the lips. Gotta kiss a lady after she cooks for you." Christmas reprimanded him.

"LET'S GO" Roy rolled his eyes.

Formerly intimidated, Riza felt tickled by his mom. She still looked away still embarrassed.

"Thank you for coming" Riza smiled.

Roy and his mom walked down the street as Riza watched from behind the window.

Roy walked ahead of his stepmom. Clearly not making much conversation with her.

She felt a little sad that he wouldn't be spending the night. She wouldn't get to make him breakfast in the morning. She was looking forward to it.

"Riza. Come into my study. There is somthing important we must attend to." her father said as he walked up the stairs.

"Huh?" Riza said to herself.

This was strange. Never ever did her father invite her up to his study. Normally they wouldn't exchange any converstaion for the rest of the night.

As he reached the top of the stairs he said "Bring rubbing alcohol. A liberal amount of it. Don't take offense from what about's to happen" he said darkly.

Riza suddenly felt terried. She noticed he had a bottle of wine in his hands. Strange.

What on earth was he planning with her?

 ****Hello everyone! You can probably guess what's about to happen right? Poor young, still timid Riza :-( Anyways, I've been working alot, but I'll still keep trying to update regularly. My writer's block ended. I mean, I'm not really a writer but I still felt a block for a couple of days there. I get tired and feel uninspired. I come home from work crazy tired. But hey, I'm greatful for it. I'll try to keep up with this story. Thanks for reading!****


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